Through the years, just like you, I found myself wearing many hats and taking care of #allthethings. I was grateful for my kids, husband, and our home, but deep down I always had a desire to feel like I wanted and needed “more”,
A mother of 3, still looking for more, needing to feel like I was enough, to feel fulfilled in my role as the “mom” and the “business owner”. The older the kids got the more activities we had to keep up with, more laundry, more dishes, and a need for better nutritious meals. I lived my life day by day reacting to everything. No plan, no true routine for my business or my home.
It wasn’t until my son was in high school that I FINALLY started implementing new strategies in my home and establishing routines that gave me more freedom in the day. I was able to feel like the expectations that I was setting for myself were more realistic and attainable. I learned that yes, my ONE JOB, is to provide and take care of my family first. But, my most important focus should be on taking care of me and reminding myself that “I am enough”. I can have a business and a home that is less chaotic! Balance, not sure if that will ever be the word that describes my life, but I can say that even now, married for 27 years with 2 of my daughters and my 2 yr old grandson at home, I feel like I am enough and have created the home that provides my family with a “safe place to fall”, the place they like to be, they feel comfortable in, their HOME.
If only I had found this life of routines and living 5 minute messy I could have saved many hours of yelling, searching for that one missing baseball sock, not having those important school papers turned in on time, and the worst, causing stress and chaos in my kindergartener because I had to now hurry to get to the bus stop because of that one email I needed to send to my client first.
The story continues and always will...I will always be mom, but am not so proud to be
Noni to super fun 2 year grandson that lives with us!
The toys! The Chaos! Yes, it's back!
But, his mom now has the strategies that she grew up with in her home and together,
we can all have the 5 minute messy and Be OK! We have the tools the tame the chaos!
I began looking into jobs that I could do from home and became an apprentice for a local Wedding Planner and just after a few months bought the business. I had a great schedule in place working and meeting with clients during nap times or in the evening, things were great!
At the end of maternity leave, my husband and I decided that I would leave my full time job and stay home with my son. I thought, “Why not? This is great. I can totally do this!” I had the cleanest home, never one piece of dirty laundry. I became crafty, cooking nice meals every night out of cookbooks, had a wonderful social life with friends and family, but
I needed to be more than
just the keeper of the house and #allthethings
my need for fulfillment wasn’t met.
I needed more.
I could be successful and raise my kids, too!
It just felt like I was no longer enough to handle #allthethings.
I needed more.
Back to the Corporate Life, ahh! Where it's all easy and I am out of the house with a check that comes automatically!
This almost felt like heaven!
I ended up back to work full time out of the home just until my 2nd child was born and then, the decision was made to be back home as a full time mommy. Just like before I was back to the life of the “perfect” “all together” stay at home mom life. Therefore, I started to grow my business again. Life was good, business was booming, I was busy, but most importantly, I had a purpose!
My kids were healthy and growing and so much fun, this is the life I dreamed of!
However, through the years all of that changed and once again, Now as a mother of 3 I was just trying to keep up,
My house was “clean, just cluttered” a quote from a dear friend.
I was told by my grandmother (a southern belle) that I was never 100% together.
I wasn’t managing our money right and remember the days at the cash register watching the total add up and having to make decisions of what to remove so my debit card would clear. Often times it was the little things I wanted, like my Dr. Pepper! I remember the very early mornings of my husband getting ready for work with a pit in my stomach trying to remember if he had a pair of clean underwear left in the drawer. Dinners became less and less, no more of those new recipes that would result in dinner served in beautiful serving dishes, they started to become quick meals of whatever I could defrost in the microwave and put together, fast.
You know the saying, “You had one job” right? Well, not really, you have now taken on many more roles feeling like you just aren’t enough and there aren’t enough hours in the day. I started to feel like my only purpose was to be the chef, the maid, the babysitter, instead of the put together beautiful sexy wife I once was, that person that was always filled with laughter and socializing with my girlfriends. I found myself comparing their life to mine and wondering
“Why can’t I have it all together like Janet?”
I spent hours searching the very slow dial up internet looking for hope, that magic button that would then make me feel like I am enough, the kind to give me a sense of fulfillment in what I was doing, not just in my business but in my home, with my kids, with my husband.
Something had to change.
It was a life full of just reacting to life. I spent many years exhausted.
“I am enough”
I can have a business and a home
that is less chaotic!
I could have enjoyed these years with my kids and been present.
The one part of the story that never changes is that “I am mom”